Awkward Girl Lives On

I just recently came across this unfinished post from over 2 years ago.  I found it pretty funny reading it over again.  It documents an awkward encounter (that probably got even more awkward) and a little of my thought process during it.  Sorry it's not finished, but maybe it will give you a laugh nonetheless.  (Oh, and I never did that half marathon, by the way. Not even close).

I often remember myself during my adolescence and teen years as being shy and awkward, always feeling like I had some kind of communication disorder that made me sputter out words in the wrong order or say things that answered questions nobody asked, or nervously laugh just a little too loudly at myself to make sure everyone knew that I knew I was, in fact, an idiot. Then I realize that those awkward times are not over, and they didn't necessarily have to do with a stage in my life. I've since learned that I'm a classic introvert, and shy and anxious on top of that, and those things contribute to my awkward communication. I may have learned to cover it up a little more or speak more slowly sometimes, but every once in a while I still have embarrassing encounters that leave me red in the face.

I recently decided to get a new pair of running shoes since my old ones were worn down (even pre-pregnancy), and I never really got a pair just for running anyways. Since Lee is an expert runner, I asked for her advice. She pointed me to a store near my house and told me to ask for Oscar, who has been really helpful to her. She said she'd give him a heads up that I was on my way over there. I asked if I'd have to run in front of someone there, and she said I did (and should), and I almost decided not to go, just because of that. But alas, I mustered up the courage and pretended like that wouldn't be a big deal and went on over.

I walked into the store, which is quite small, and saw a young man behind the counter who matched the description Lee gave me. I also saw an older man on the other side of the store helping someone else, but I wasn't sure if he worked there. So I approached the young man and I couldn't tell if he was in the middle of processing something or not, but he looked at me and gave me a glimmer of a smile, which I read as "can I help you?". So I said asked if he was Oscar, and before he could answer, I stammered out that Lee, or my sister (would he know her by name?), Lee Davidson (if he knew her by name, would he know her last name?) said to ask for him. (So what, why is that impressive? I didn't even tell him what I wanted). He finished what he was doing and politely affirmed that he was Oscar, and tried not to look to confused as I babbled on. I rolled my eyes at myself and said that I was looking for some running shoes. (Of course I was, that was almost all they had in the store...say something more). So to impress him, I told him I was training for a half marathon, but that I'd only done a 5k before (in case he wondered, and as if that might impact what kind of shoe I got). I started to go into the story of how I accidentally signed up for a half marathon, thinking it was more like a 10k or 15k, and that it was partly a goal to motivate myself to get in shape after the baby, because I just had a baby, well, she's almost 6 months old by now and...(Stop, stop! You're going way out of range...bring it back). So I stop myself and wave my hands and say, "anyways," with a little chuckle. That's always a good move to let someone know it's their turn.

So, being the professional he is, he maintains a polite demeanor the whole time, still trying to understand what I need. I mention that I've only ever worn New Balance, as if that explains why I'm coming to this store now (So what? New Balance what? Stop trying to sound like you know what you're talking about!). He asks if I have any problems that I know of with my feet, and because I was prepared for this, I say that I think my feet roll towards the outsides (because I've nearly twisted my ankle several times doing this). I also mention that I have bunions. I pride myself in saying this very casually, because there were other people around, and I've never had to say that in front of anyone else.

Oscar asks me to take my shoes of and walk back and forth a little, and he examines my gait. This feels pretty good - walking is easy. He says I definitely pronate on the insides of my feet (Oh no, I was wrong - I gave wrong information. Should I try to explain why I thought it was the outsides?) But he must pick up on the fact that I'm a little self-conscious, because he tells me that I may very well roll on the outsides when I walk sometimes, but with my normal gait I clearly put more pressure on the insides. He affirmed me in my mistakenness...what a nice guy.