To Eleanora on Your 10th Birthday

[photos to be added] Oh, my spirited girl, where do I start? Our years seem to keep getting more full, yet this year has had a little more stability – I think you’re getting into more of a rhythm with school and dance, as am I, and things have started to feel more manageable – at least until we spontaneously bought a house right around your birthday (but I’ll save that part for the end!). You are in 4th grade now (an upperclassman!), and you have two teachers this year, Ms. Watson and Ms. Clark, whom you seem to like well enough. You didn’t start the year with many of your friends from last year, but you’ve quickly made some new ones, as you always do. You’ve continued to excel in school, and during recent teacher conferences, both of your teachers had glowing comments about you and your abilities. You’ve also started riding the bus home in the afternoons, though we still take you in the mornings. While you didn’t love this idea, it was so helpful for us (not having to wait in carline during our work hours), and I think you’re actually mostly okay with it now. I love walking down the street to meet you after you get off the bus and seeing if you’ll eek out a little about how your day went – mostly you’re ready to do your intense relax and snack routine at home and open up a bit more later. You still tell me you don’t love some things about school, and I’m trying to figure out exactly what it is – perhaps something about feeling a little constrained and not in charge of your movements and activities throughout the day. I think you relish in free time and are always comparing that to the structure of school. But at the same time, you do so well, and you’ll even excitedly share about what you’re doing in class here and there. You also excel in PE, and when you did your pacer (running) test recently, you outran everyone in your class, in pace and by 10 laps! Perhaps we have a future runner on our hands? Speaking of physical activity, you’ve somehow managed to add even more dance to your schedule this year. You were invited to join the ballet team at your dance school, a pretty prestigious gesture, as only a handful of students are part of this, and you’re—once again—the youngest. I had concerns about this, especially that it would be too much, and it would be added pressure that we could do without, not to mention more time and more money. But you were determined to do it, and we Papa and I stretched our idea of what we could do this year and agreed to it, even though it means two additional competitions, and one is out of state. In addition to this, you’ve also added specialty dances to your competition repertoire. You’re doing a lyrical duet with your BFF Caitlyn, and you’ll do a contemporary solo that counts for both ballet and dance competitions, as well as a classical ballet variation you’ll do just for ballet competitions (it’s the Bluebird variation from Sleeping Beauty’s Florine). We have entered the world of tutus now, and we need to have your costume custom made, and we’ll need to get a tutu bag to carry it during travel. Your ballet teachers are also a little more strict and intense than your other dance teachers, and this is another part of the ballet world we’re working on embracing (but Mr. Julio makes up for it by also being silly and making students laugh, and Ms. Gigi quietly shows her love for students in her own way). You are keeping us “on our toes” while you thrive with all of this dance activity, but at the end of the day we are happy to support it while you’re happy to do it. I do worry sometimes that all of this “being the youngest” or “being the top in your class” or “being front and center” (as you often are in dance) will create internal pressure or desire to stay in these places and have a hard time if you’re not. Papa and I will always be proud of you, and we have no expectations that you’ll strive to be in these kinds of positions, ever. We are, of course, proud of your accomplishments and inspired by your motivation and drive, but we both also feel strongly that it’s important to be comfortable with “failing” or “messing up,” and that the only thing wrong with messing up is not learning or growing from it. Everybody needs to fail or make mistakes sometimes, and we hope that you can learn to humbly embrace this as a gift when it does happen, and still feel confident about your strengths. While we invested in braces for Evie the past year, we invested in allergy drops for you. It was finally time for you to see an allergist, as we knew that you had some environmental and pet allergies from seeing the reactions you’d get (sneezing/sniffling from pollen changes, and hives and swollen eyes from pets). This was especially unfortunate because you love cats and dogs and would love nothing more than to have one (though of course, I’m still allergic so I’ve tried to gently remind you of this sad fact we must live with). While my allergies seem to be sticking with me with fierce loyalty, I hoped that maybe we could start a treatment for yours since you’re so young. My allergist does sublingual immunotherapy (similar to allergy shots, but delivered through individually-made drops that go under the tongue). Allergy shots would probably not be possible given our schedule, and we can do these at home, so we got started. Unfortunately, they’re not yet covered by insurance, so it is quite an investment, and it has taken a while to get used to being consistent with them. We’re at least half a year in, and it’s hard to tell if they’re making a difference, but it was also hard to keep up with them the way we should have for many months. But I’m trying to stay the course, because if you can have improvements to your allergies and suffer less than you currently do, then it is totally worth it. [to be completed...] - Friendships - Skincare - Moving feelings