To Evie on Your 9th Birthday

Dear Evie,

I am a little delayed in writing this year's post, but it is for a good reason. After your birthday party, which was on your actual birthday, you and I went on a big field trip to Pigeon Key, and I was a bit consumed with getting ready for that. But I'm glad I waited, because I had 4 extra days to have some special time with you (along with 14 classmates and about as many parents). I observed you in a different environment than what I usually see at home and with family. When you are with your friends from school, you are completely immersed in that world. And that is okay with me, because it is exactly what you're supposed to be doing at your age.

Your age now is technically considered pre-teen, I believe. And I see how important your peer group is to you. You have become particularly close to a few girls at school, even though two of them are a year or a couple years older than you. That is one thing I love about your Montessori school, that the mixed-age classrooms allow kids to develop friendships they might not otherwise be able to. You have recently had your very first sleepover at a friend's house. I was a little nervous about the thought of not having you under the same roof as me like you have been every single night of your existence, but I could tell you were ready, and we knew and trusted the family you were with. The three of you hung out, got Chick-fil-a for dinner, went to an ice cream place to get a giant bowl of ice cream with 12 scoops to share, made friendship bracelets, and stayed up until midnight. You were in heaven.

Engaging in some independent artwork.

More and more, you make decisions based on what you think your friends will like, especially when it comes to what to wear, and what to do, and while know that is normal, I do get a bit nervous that you'll stray too far from knowing yourself, liking yourself, and valuing your own ideas. But maybe that's an insecurity from my own youth that I'm projecting onto you. After all, I do see you cultivating interests that are all your own, like playing the keyboard. You've learned several songs on your own through an app or through the piano lesson book (the same one I used when I was your age, and Grandma used when she learned a little piano). You've learned to play Heart and Soul in a way I didn't know it could be played. You've transformed it from a catchy little song that everyone learns on piano at some point, to a beautiful, slower melodic version that I associate with being home with you in comfort and peace. You also still love art and other creative projects, though you seem to be more interested in writing and drawing lately than other forms of art. You love to practice cursive, and your favorite activity lately at restaurants while we wait is to have me tell you words to write in cursive.

You've grown a lot in several ways this past year. You have embraced dance in a way I haven't seen in past years. You were invited to join the classical ballet school at your dance school, and you were also invited to join the competition team. While you ended up deciding against the team because it seemed like too much at the time (which you now regret), you are taking one ballet class, one jazz class, and one acro class. Luckily, they are all on the same day, so that saves a lot of runaround, but it is more intense than what you've done before. You seem to love it though, at least partly, if not mostly, because of the cohort you're now a part of. You knew a lot of the girls in your classes before, but now you're friends with them, and being with them is a big part of what you enjoy in dance. You performed in the Nutcracker this year as an angel, and you were the first in line to lead your class out for your part. Your teacher, Ms. Gigi, actually suggested you move up a level in class, but you decided to stick where you are because you're comfortable with the other girls in class. You're being asked to make these kinds of decisions more and more, and I can see that sometimes decision making feels torturous to you, but these smaller decisions will be good practice for bigger ones down the road.

Sweet little angel for your first ballet show - the Nutcracker.

Bulgogi and diorama from your Korea project.

You've been more independent in general this year too. You've had to do more independent work at school, like managing your homework and two big projects. One was a country project, and you researched Korea, wrote a report, put together a diorama, and dressed in traditional dress for International Day (that part thanks to a gift from "Uncle" Kevin). You are now fully able to make Amazon purchases on your own (with our money, of course). You picked out and purchased all the goody bag supplies for your birthday party online. A few things were different than what you expected, so we had to make a couple adjustments, but you otherwise did it all yourself. You did the same for some items for your Pigeon Key trip, like snorkeling gear, rash guards, bathing suits, etc. You have also wanted to learn how to type, so I let you research tutorial apps, and you found one you liked and have been occasionally addicted to learning to type. You've also started learning about Word documents and have played around with formatting and other functions. You have made strides in being able to pack on your own. For your sleepover, you packed everything you needed, toothbrush and all. I did need to help with packing for Pigeon Key, though, and I ended up totally packing when it was time to go back home, so there is some room to grow there (incidentally, we left your phone on the island and realized it on the bus - you were devastated for a whole 10 minutes until a staff member found it, ferried over, and drove to our bus, which was waiting to depart! Lesson learned, and what an amazing staff they had!).

I see some disconnect happening between you and Eleanora sometimes - she seeming all the more like a stereotypical "little sister" to you, and you being drawn more and more to your peer groups. But I don't think it is anything dramatic, and you certainly still have fun together and just sister together, like you do in a family. I'm also pretty sure Eleanora won't be complacent in being treated like a little sister, so you may have that to contend with as you both grow. You still have a strong attachment to family, and thoroughly enjoy when they come to visit us or when we visit them. Lola was recently here to help celebrate your birthday and to be company for Eleanora while we were gone, and you and Eleanora like to go in her room and chat with her in the mornings and before bed. Of course, you love your outings with Tita Lee, and any time you get to see cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, it is a highlight of your year.

Best sissies!

You love your cousin crew!

As for the Pigeon Key trip, you had a blast. Not only did you get to sleepover with several friends in bunkbeds in a cabin, but you got to explore the natural world on a tiny island that we had all to ourselves. You still love discovery, and whether it was finding little pieces of coral by the shore or lifting up rocks to find creatures while wade pooling, your sense of wonder was fully in tact. You learned to snorkel, you rode boats, you learned a ton about marine life and the environment in general. You got to go off with friends to different parts of the island since it was so small. At first you liked the pool with nurse sharks and bonnet head sharks in it, and then you liked the shoreline with washed up coconuts and pieces of coral and sponge. You also just loved eating at the picnic tables with friends and playing by the bunkbeds in the dorm when there was free time (you stayed up until 10pm each night!). On the last night, we got to go down to the dock at 9pm to see what fish we could find that weren't typically out during the day. There was a special green light shining on the water, and as we made our way to the end of the dock, we turned off our flashlights and became very quite. At first we just saw lots of small fish, but then a 4-5 foot lemon shark swam by and circled the area for about a half an hour. Everyone seemed mesmerized, just sitting on the dock in dark night with so many stars up above, looking out into the water in wonder and tranquility. I'm so glad I got to do this trip with you, and I hope it will be very memorable for you.

Right after a little shark dissection!

Finding coral after exploring the shoreline.

Handling one of our finds from the wade pool.

Dissecting a squid.

This next year may bring some changes, like changing schools, so we'll have to face some uncertainty and be a little courageous in that regard, especially since you've formed a tight friend group. But I am excited for you to make knew friends - I know you worry a little about that, but if they see even a quarter of what I see in you, they'll jump at the chance to be friends with you.  I love every bit of you and who you are, and I can't wait to see what another year brings!