To Eleanora on Your 6th Birthday

Dear Eleanora,

Taking a selfie - personality on full view.

I have enjoyed you so much this past year. Some of the tensions that I've felt with you have slowly melted away, and I think I've been able to see you more clearly lately. You've always been charming and been able to engage people you're close to, so you've always made me laugh, smile, and feel warm from your desire to be close (like, on top of me). There are still times when my need to be alone or have some space conflicts with your need for attention from me, but I think we're finding our way, as I try to remember how much connecting with you counter acts some of your behaviors that are difficult for me, like telling me "no," being resistant, or whining. Your emotions are on the surface, and in many ways I'm thankful for that. I like being able to read you and to know exactly where I stand with you.


You have found ways to express your desires that are effective, even if very frustrating. Sometimes if I ask you to do something like get ready for bed or get brush your teeth, you run away or flop on the couch and bury your face in a pillow. Lately if you do this, I ask you to look at me while I'm talking to you, and after saying "no" several times, you then ask through the pillow, "can I smile?" And when I say, "of course," you turn your head with a big goofy grin, and I can't help but laugh. You know it will cut through my repeated demands, that I'm afraid you sometimes interpret as judgments. I am learning that you are sensitive and care deeply about how people perceive you.

The moment right before you lost this tooth!

You have grown a lot this past year. You have gotten taller and slimmed down a little - losing some of your "chub" that has been with you since you were a baby. I was anticipating this happening and being sad about it, but while I cherish those little thigh rolls and that standout belly you sported for so long, I also marvel at your strength and your determined little frame. You are right there keeping up with Evie in gymnastics, and you recently learned to do a front and back limber on your own, in addition to many other dance and contortionist feats. You have also started loosing teeth--you lost two within two weeks recently! They were both bottom teeth, and one had started growing in before the baby tooth was even out yet. You have one wiggly tooth on top, next to the empty space where you had your other front tooth pulled when you were two. This year, you may be singing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..."

Waiting for your tap performance last recital.

You are taking ballet this year, but I'm not sure how much you enjoy it. At times, you convince me you want to do it, and you show off what you learn after class, but at other times--usually right before class--you say you don't want to do it. Papa was with you last week when this happened and said you didn't have to go. Maybe you needed a break, or maybe you're just not very interested. I'm pretty confident that you'll find an activity or sport or art that you find motivating when you feel more ready to choose something on your own. You tend to stick with things Evie does because it makes you feel comfortable, but I think over the next couple years you'll start to figure out your own interests a little more. One thing I know you like is helping with cooking. You chop fruits and veggies with a real knife, flip pancakes, stir like nobody's business, and you can even crack eggs--a pretty tough skill to learn.

Demonstrating apple peeling skills while making apple crisp.

We had a parent/teacher conference today and heard so many wonderful things from your teachers. They love you so much and genuinely enjoy having you in their class. This year, one of your BFFs, Sofia P. has moved to a different classroom, so it was unclear how you'd fare. But this has given you room to explore a couple of new friendships, and though they are a bit tamer than your wild and silly antics with Sofia, you seem to easily adapt to different people and situations. We know you love school because on Fridays when your red folder comes home with you with a week's worth of work, you walk us through each and every piece of work you did--all the math, writing, drawing, and art and proudly describe your accomplishments. We probably take for granted how smart you are, because you just do these things so naturally. You can read simple chapter books now and you love Amelia Bedelia! You also ask us to give you math problems in your free time--multiplication is your favorite lately.

This year, for your birthday, you badly wanted to go to Dis-uh-ney, and you have stuck to this wish for over a year now, so after we made sure you understood you wouldn't also have a birthday party, we agreed to take a family trip to Dis-uh-ney. You have been so excited each day that you've been counting down the days and hours until we go. You love "fun" things and toys and treats, and I think that even though you don't really know much about Dis-uh-ney, it makes you think of these things, which are not everyday things for us (though you get plenty of them). So we hope you live it up during your one whole day at Dis-uh-ney this year.

You are still very much our snuggly girl. I call you my little puppy and we love to cuddle, especially before bed at night. Hugging you helps warm my soul and melt away anything negative I'm feeling, so though you have a great need for physical affection, I may be the one who benefits more from your hugs and kisses. I have given in to carrying you when you request it, which is pretty much any time we go somewhere, but only from the parking lot to the entrance. It's a compromise we can both deal with. You still get a "yes" on something I used to say "no" to, and I get to hold on to you that much longer before you grow even bigger and won't want me to carry you again.

I love you my sweet girl, and I can't wait to see what this year brings!

I had to come back and edit this because this evening we had a sweet moment that I don’t want to forget.  During bedtime, you were finished getting ready and already in bed and Evie was still brushing her teeth and finishing up, so I laid down with you to snuggle, which I think was a nice treat for both of us. I started singing "You are My Sunshine," which I used to sing to you as a baby as I walked you back and forth in my room trying to lull you to sleep. It also makes me think of you because you are such a bright ray of sunshine. As I sang tonight, you hugged me a little tighter, and then you started crying a little. I was aware that the song can be a bit sad, but I wasn’t sure you were picking up on that. It has the lyric, "please don’t take my sunshine away," which, honestly gets to me sometimes. So I smoothed your hair and kissed your sweet, smooshy cheek and asked what the tears were for. You let out a few more and couldn’t answer. I asked if it was sadness or love, and right away you said, "love." And you hugged me tighter. This is what I forgot to capture in my post. You have a very tender heart, and you really feel love and show it. Your feelings are so accessible to you, even if you don’t fully understand them. What a gift for a mother to see and feel the love of her child so strongly. I am so fortunate to be the recipient of your pure, unrestricted love. Thank you, my little Eleanora!