To Eleanora on Your 3rd Birthday

Dear Eleanora,

You are such a shining beam of light in our lives. I can't possibly quantify all of the times you have made me laugh or smile or feel excited, but it is often enough that when I think of you, I think of pure joy.


You are your own person, but you love to be around other people. You thrive when you're around those close to you, and you are energized by social interactions. You are excited to meet up with friends or family members, and you like children of all ages. You love babies and pretend with them at home a lot, but I think you like big kids even better, and you see yourself as one of them.

You started your second year of preschool this year at the Montessori school, and you are the youngest in a mixed-age class of 18. Evie didn't start the year with you there, so you were on your own. Although you had some tears in the beginning, you had smiles every time I picked you up, and it wasn't long before you were excitedly telling me about all your friends at school on the way home. Your teachers love you, and because they also knew Evie, they comment frequently on how different the two of you are. Evie was very independent, and you are a social butterfly. You're the yin to her yang.

Even during quiet times, you prefer to be right next to me or Papa, lying close to us and making silly jokes or studying our faces or poking our bodies. Sometimes this is hard for us because we consider ourselves introverts and have a strong need for solitary time, but you continually ensnare us with your charm and tenderness, and those moments end up becoming more than manageable. We are technically still nursing (just to bed), but we have given up overnight and nap time "milkies," and you usually don't nap anymore unless you fall asleep on the drive to pick up sissy from school. You don't like to admit being tired, and many times you will fall asleep mid-sentence or mid-bite if you're eating! You still, however, wake up in the middle of the night and come in to our bed. At one point, this bothered me because I had a hard time sleeping with you in the bed, but I don't mind it so much anymore, and I know you won't always do it. You are warm and cuddly in our bed, and I can't think of anything sweeter for someone who has a need to be around people for security.

You have a way with words that keeps us entertained. You have an adorable little two-year-old speech pattern where you say "r's" like "w's" and "llellow" instead of "yellow," and you are happy to just approximate the sound of words, rather than worrying about their details. But this past year, you have expanded your speech and vocabulary immensely, and you are now an avid storyteller. You tell stories about what happened at school or at different celebrations, you talk about how things should be in the world, and you make up your own creative stories that are so involved that I sometimes have a hard time following along. You mix reality with fantasy, and you've learned a little about teasing and playing games with words, and you love to play the "no" game with Grandpa (which means that you say "no" to anything he asks you, and you think it's hilarious). You say silly words and make silly faces that make us crack up all the time. You love to laugh.

There are some things that are less than joyful, though, like your strong will and commitment to resistance. We have had to adapt our parenting strategies with you because things that worked with Evie do not work with you. You can yell and scream and physically resist like no other. You use your loud voice in public without a second thought, and I have learned that there is no talking you through it or using calming strategies in those moments; I simply pick you up and walk outside until you calm down. This can happen because you don't want to put shoes on, or because you want a certain food, or any number of things that seem little, but are usually a symptom of being tired and resisting that feeling for so long. Although these challenges are typical of being in the "terrible twos," I'm not sure what it will mean for the future. Picking you up won't always be an option. Will you grow out of this? Or will it show up in a different way later on? Either way, we'll be ready to do our best to understand you and guide you the best way we can.

Snacks. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks. This is your favorite word lately. You say it as soon as you wake up, as soon as we get in the car, when you don't go to bed right away, and at all points in between. You want many snacks per day. I bring a bag of 3 or 4 snacks in the car when we pick up sissy from school, and as soon as you have one, you immediately say, "what do you have next, Mama?". I've learned that you don't really want all the snacks, you just like the options and have, unfortunately, learned that snacks are a distraction for other feelings, like being tired or not having something to do. I'm trying hard to limit your snacks, but you actually do a pretty good job of eating meals in addition to your snacks, so it's not too much of a problem. You also love sugar. We call you Buddy the Elf sometimes because you love maple syrup and honey on anything. Oatmeal, yogurt, honey tea...you even asked for maple syrup on your cheese toast one time (and you ate some). You love fruit and can eat several apples, bananas, or oranges a day. You do pretty well with the rest of the foods, too, but snacks, fruits, and cheese top your list.

Finally, I want to make sure you understand what an amazing sister you are to Evie. Evie has always been pretty independent, and can be just fine doing things on her own, but you have added a spark to her life in a way that nobody else could. The two of you have so much fun playing together, running around the house, pretending to play teacher and dance class or mommy and baby, or making creations out of any number of materials. It doesn't always last, and there are many bouts of fighting and bickering, but we are so grateful for the bond you have together, and for the energy you bring to her play. You are the younger sister, but you rarely see yourself that way; in your eyes, you're just an equal playmate who can contribute just as much fun, and I love that about you.


You make our hearts swell with happiness every day. You have been asking for "huggies" a lot lately - when you're tired, when we've gotten upset with each other, or just because you want affection. I love these sweet, warm embraces, and I try to freeze time for just a moment when you're sitting on my lap giving me a whole body hug. You mean your hugs, and we can feel it. They are the best gift in the world. Happy birthday, our sweet girl!