To Evie on Your 6th Birthday

Dear Evie,

You turned 6 years old today, and in some ways, I can't believe you've only been on this Earth for that long. You have filled my days with something new ever since you were born (you'd like to know that that's exactly 2,190 days). I had you all to myself for long periods of time during your earlier years. You were my buddy, and we made sense together because we have similar personalities. We had it pretty easy, and sometimes I long to step back into those days, at least for a bit.

This year you started Kindergarten, and that has meant a little less time with you during the week. But you seemed ready to spend a little more time filling your need for knowledge and know-how; you are ever our curious girl, and you anxiously work to make sense of new things all the time. In the past year, you've had some minor obsessions, like finger knitting, making paper snowflakes, riding your bike all by yourself, drawing with Papa, and working doggedly on countless other art projects, designs, and structures. You find ways to make your own envelopes, forts, dress-up outfits, earrings, and more. Tape, glue, staples, and clips are your most frequently used objects around the house. While these activities bring out the intense, focused, and perseverant side of you, they also bring out the perfectionist in you - especially when it comes to art. You have high expectations of yourself and your ability, and when you don't do something right the first time, you are very hard on yourself. Papa and I try to talk to you all the time about how everyone has to make mistakes to get good at something and how we're proud of all the steps you take when you learn, but you want to hear nothing of it. You're naturally good at a lot of things, so when you do something that you don't think is good, it feels bad. My hope for you is that you learn to embrace failing so that it will feel like a normal process in attempts at something bigger.


You do have an easygoing side though. You learned to ride your two wheel bike all by yourself this year - starting on your own and everything. And when you got the hang of it, it was all you wanted to do! After school or on weekends, you lead the way riding your bike around the neighborhood, with Eleanora keeping up with you on her balance bike that you learned on, and me or Papa behind. You feel free and relaxed on your bike, and you even still take time to stop and check out flowers or leaves along the way, causing a minor pile-up. You love playing at parks, and you seem to find equal joy in running, climbing, and hanging from monkey bars as you do finding different kinds of nature objects to build something out of or make nature art. You have taught Eleanora about the joys of outside play in these ways.

You still love family and friends probably more than anything. At family and friend get togethers, you gather with cousins or friends and go off on your own to create your own fun. We don't even know what you're doing half the time now, but we hear squeals and laughter (and occasional tears); you're old enough now to want to break free from under our wings, and you relish in the secret world of independent child play.

Something we take for granted is knowing how smart you are, and feeling like you'll always exceed academically. You continue to learn and use big words, to seek out adults to talk to, to do challenging math like Sudoku puzzles for fun, learn cursive writing just because you wanted to, and you're learning to read more every day (although you've never been one to choose reading a book as something fun or interesting to do on your own). We've always felt that it was important not to push you (or any young child) academically so that you can learn about your world through play and natural observations, but we've also been fortunate that you have a drive to learn all on your own, and you observe like no other.


More than anything, I am so thankful that you still love to be close with us. Having a "family day" is one of the most exciting things to you, even if all we do is stay at home all day. You like to share inside knowledge with us (like when we all laugh at something cute Eleanora says), and you talk to us about your day and your feelings. You are a detailed and animated story teller, and I love hearing you talk for several minutes about a conversation between you and a friend that took 10 seconds. I hope you always talk to us this way and trust that we'll think you have important things to say. You're growing up, but you still like to tell us all about each and every cut, bruise, or scrape, or let us know when your feelings were hurt. You still have intense feelings too, that we sometimes don't understand.

This morning, you were getting ready to have a special day at school because Papa, Eleanora, Lola, and I were going to all be there for your celebration of life ceremony. You changed outfits a couple times, first wanting to find a fancy dress, and then settling on turquoise leggings, a LOVE shirt, and a bun in your hair. You reminded me that I said you could wear your clip on earrings on your birthday, so I agreed. You found a pair that perfectly matched your outfit, and as you were putting them on, you dropped one down the bathroom sink drain (which, coincidentally, does not have a stopper in it). It was gone. Down the drain. As it sunk in that you probably wouldn't be able to wear those earrings, you screamed louder than I think I've ever heard you scream, and you didn't stop. You yelled, stomped, and said the day was ruined and demanded that we get the earring. You told me that if we can't get it out then we'll have to go straight to the beach and see if it came out there (it was hard not to laugh!). You can be so determined. Luckily, Papa was able to pull the pipe apart and find it, just in time to leave for school. All was right with the world again.

So even while I think idealistically about the way things were when you were a baby, I wouldn't trade 6-year-old you for anything. Your personality, like the rest of you, is growing and changing. Just as you have new freckles sprinkled across your nose and longer legs, you have new abilities and more refined ways of expressing yourself. We love all these bits of you that make you our sweet Evie.