To Evie on Your 10th Birthday

 My Darling Evie,

You are 10! Double digits. A tween. And you are starting to experience all of the complexity that comes with that age. This past year has turned things upside down quite a bit, and you have been so understanding and accepting of how things have to be right now. You have tried to take the disappointments in stride and remain optimistic about the future. 

Delighting in an experiment for class.

You started a new school this year, in 4th grade, but you have only ever known it virtually because of the pandemic. I think a part of you has been comfortable with doing school from home, but another part of you is realizing the cost of not being around peers and making more friends during your first year. You have made a friend or two that you chat with a little outside of school, but we all know it's different from what you came to expect from peers and friends in your previous school. You still talk fairly regularly with your two good friends from Montessori, but I know scheduled video chats just don't allow for the spontaneous silliness that would otherwise take place in person. Academically, you continue to excel, and I've always known you'd be able to meet any expectations set forth for you. You seem to still carry a genuine love of learning, and even if it's not ideal to learn through a zoom call while your teacher tries to manage students in class at the same time as remote learners, you still engage with the lessons and excitedly tell us about what you're learning. I am so proud of you for that and so grateful to have a child who is so naturally curious and interested in learning. 

You have become quite the reader. I think it started with a book report you had to do earlier in the year, that collided with a book that Grandma sent (Nevermoore, The Trials of Morrigan Crowe, which happened to be part of a series), and then you were hooked. You read through that series so fast I had to hurry and find a new one. We found the Sisters Grimm series, which has 9 books, thinking that would last you a while, but you flew through those even faster! You continue to devour books, and I think this is partly due to your desire for escapism. You love getting lost in other worlds and are disappointed when you have to leave them. I think these literary journeys have also come alongside intense wondering about the possibilities of this world or even about the possibilities of alternative worlds (you have been reading science fiction, after all). I love how your mind has been opened and how you've embraced the wonder of this genre. Luckily, Grandpa has set you up with a new series for your birthday. 

You have taken on 3 dance classes plus piano lessons this year. You're doing ballet, jazz, and lyrical. You've shown so much growth and natural ability over the past couple years. I'm afraid I stare gaping at you while I watch you dance, because I'm in awe of how graceful and beautiful you are. You are one of the only ones doing your class remotely, and I know that takes a lot of courage. Papa and I talked about having you do dance lessons in person at one point, but right after that we received a notification that several students and teachers got COVID at your dance school, and we changed our minds. I hate that you're not able to be in class with your peers, but we still feel strongly that our precautions have been worth it and hope like crazy that you understand that deep down. You have also been doing piano lessons (remotely), which you seem to breeze through. I love hearing you practice and getting your songs stuck in my head. You will be able to do your first live recital soon since it will be outdoors. 

This past weekend we celebrated your birthday by staying at an Airbnb house with a pool for a few days and visiting with family. You got to have some normal cousin and family time, which we were all so grateful for. You love having something to look forward to, whether it's packages, events, holidays, or gifts, and you counted down the days to this, which encompassed all of those things! We celebrated Valentine's Day, too, card exchange and all. True to your artistic nature, you spent a couple weeks hand-making cards for everyone, using unique water color designs for each one. I hope you always hold a special place in your heart for excitement about the little and the big things in life.

You have taken to providing us all with daily updates on "the National Day." Sometimes it's the national day of certain foods, diseases, holidays, or states - many are obscure or random - but you love thinking each day about these things and making sure to announce them for us. You still love to have your routine, and this fun, light-hearted habit gives you some structure to hold onto during days that otherwise still feel uncertain, as we continue grappling with the physical restrictions and emotional toll of the pandemic. 

You have also recently taken up basketball, along with Eleanora. We randomly pulled out our two basketballs one day, and eventually made our way to the courts down the street, and the two of you can't get enough. I remember watching you at Olympic Day at the Montessori school a year or so ago and thinking that basketball just may not be your thing. And that would be totally okay, but you have blown me away by getting better each time we go out and making an impressive number of shots! You even said one time that you want to play on a team. You may take after Papa in that you are good at whatever you try, and I'm glad we discovered this little pastime that we can take part in, even if just temporarily, to get us out and doing something new. Unfortunately, though, you have developed a phobia of bugs, and we have to be careful of the time of day we go out, lest the Florida bugs find their way to you (which they always do).

You and Eleanora continue to evolve in your relationship, and as you move into a new stage of life, she may sense some more difference between the two of you, which is sometimes upsetting to her. Sometimes she probably sees herself as going right along with you, even though she's still got a few years of being a true little girl. I have seen you be such a patient and caring big sister many times, like when you wake her up and pick out her clothes for her each morning. You probably do this more because she begs you than because you love it, but even in that, I can see that you chose reconciliation over antagonism, and that is a big sign of maturity. Other times, being supportive or responsive to Eleanora in the way that suits her best may not be as easy, and the two of you definitely still push each other's buttons. 

This picture says a lot about your relationship!

Well, I'm afraid we're stuck in our isolated pandemic lifestyle a bit longer, and I worry a little about how much of a toll it might be taking on you to not be around peers in person regularly and to feel restricted in the things we want to do. We try to do little outings here and there and make sure to see family in person regularly, but I know it's different and it's pushing the limits of what we can bear. Vaccines are just starting to roll out and, while Papa and I may have ours within the next few months, hopefully, it will be longer for you and Eleanora. We still don't know how this will all play out, though we're staying very hopeful about eventually getting closer to normal. But we have noticed how understanding you have been and what courage you have shown in trying to stay positive. 

I love you always, my sweet girl!

Love,

Mama