To Evie on Your 8th Birthday

Dear Evie,

My tender, curious, thoughtful girl. You are growing so fast! I love watching you become your own person.

Evie during Olympic Day.

You have told us a few times that this is one of your favorite weeks because Valentine's Day, your birthday, and (this year, at least) Spirit Week and Olympic Day at school all happen during the same week. And sometimes, like this year, Lola comes to celebrate with you. We end up doing a lot of projects, like making Valentine cards, making treats for your class, and preparing for your birthday party. It's a busy time! Papa, Sissy, and I came to your class a couple days ago to join you for your birthday celebration at school. We made mini fruit pies from scratch from your new cookbook to share with your class, and they loved them! You put several items in the class "birthday box" that were special to you, and you took each one out and shared why you loved it. Blankey always makes the list, and this year you also included Ellie, your stuffed Elephant Tita Lee got you when you were a baby, your EVIE block letters that Tita Catie got you before you were born, your wooden turtle puzzle box you got from New Smyrna Beach (with hand-picked shells included), your earring holder that Mrs. Debbie helped you make, and two new items you made by hand - a finger-knitted butterfly and your very first finger-knitted scarf. I didn't even know what you put into the box beforehand, but I loved hearing you talk about each item with pride.

You are now eight years old. You're gaining more of your own personality every day, and all those thoughts inside your head are making their way out and helping to shape who your are and how you interact with the world. It feels like a long time ago that we had so much time together, and you were my little buddy, riding along in my arms in constant, mellow observation of everything around you. You are still amazingly observant, but your observations now spark questions and fuel your imagination. You have begun taking abstract ideas and applying concrete questions to them, like wondering how a person can be homeless - don't they have any family? How much does it cost to have a house, or a car anyways? And where do they sleep at night? You wonder about the beginning of the world and how that has led to the people, animals, and plants we have today. I think, because you have mastered some "big ideas," you sometimes laugh at Eleanora's questions or ideas if they seem crazy or "wrong," forgetting that your own path to confidently knowing things started the same way. You like to have the right information, and you like to teach that information to others. Your teachers have said that you are adept at teaching lessons and concepts to younger kids in your class - you're patient and you figure out how they will learn something best. I can't say you're the same way with Eleanora, because you feel free to express your frustration that she doesn't "get" all the things you do, but if you're playing together and you're pretending to be a teacher, then you teach her very sweetly!

Evie showing off the scarf she made.

Your interest in art continues, and your friends know you as an artist. You have recently gotten some gifts from family to help you explore sketching, you still make things with clay every now and then, and you've also gotten renewed energy in finger knitting. From your prompting, I came to your class to help teach a lesson on finger knitting (which is really something you taught me), and you and another student, Skylar, were co-teachers with me, going around to all the kids to show them what to do. Most of the kids really got it, and I was told that they were holding knitting circles on their own during recess on a couple occasions. I so love being able to share your interests with your class. We figured out how to make finger knitting into something bigger than a bracelet or bookmark, and you decided that you would make a scarf. And you did. You watched a tutorial and then spent about 2 hours straight knitting me a beautiful scarf!

That kind of determination doesn't always come easy for you, though. You still get frustrated when things don't go the way you plan or the way you want them to. If you don't like some artwork you do or feel like you're not doing it "right," you get mad at yourself and want to give up. I do my best to calmly help you through it and try to show you how to turn "mistakes" into something else or remind you that mistakes are the only way you can learn, but you can be deeply impatient when it comes to wanting to master something, and you see yourself as having no reason for not being able to do something perfectly from the beginning. While I think this quality can be motivating in some ways, I worry about the emotional distress is causes you and about the negativity you place on yourself when you get disappointed in the outcome, however unrealistic the goal may be.

You have grown in your love of gymnastics and dance. You took gymnastic lessons for the first half of this school year, and you did really well. You are a natural fit for gymnastics in many ways. You've always been flexible and strong, and you learned a lot of new skills while you were in class, like doing "tick tocks," back limbers, balance beam and bar skills, round-offs, one-handed cartwheels, and you can do a very short-lived handstand. Even though you're not taking lessons anymore, you continue to practice daily - you have that urge that many young girls do (including myself when I was your age), to turn cartwheels wherever you are - it's an impulse, and virtually any open area in front of you prompts you to want to do them - our house, our yards, the park, school, the beach, and if you could get away with it, I'm sure you'd do them in stores and restaurants. Although you got a lot out of gymnastics, you decided to take a break and go back to dance. I was hesitant to do this because last time you were in dance you wanted to quit half way through, but this time we started almost half way into the year, so I thought maybe half a year would be tolerable for you (and Eleanora), so we talked about it a lot, and then made the switch. You're taking ballet only, and so far you seem to love it. But you definitely have other ideas for things you'd like to try, and horseback riding is at the top of your list!

You are expanding your ideas of humor, and in addition to reading joke books, you and Eleanora have recently been exposed to Saturday Night Live sketches. Papa and I had shown you "Gilly" a while ago, but over Christmas your cousins Gavin and Lyla were talking about the SNL sketches they liked, so it prompted interest in exploring more. So we thought we'd give it a try, and chose some tame ones to show you (though some were worse than we thought - oops!). So far you and Eleanora's favorites are Gilly, the troublemaker; Penelope, who tries to "one-up" everybody; Surprise Lady, who gets so excited she can't handle surprises; "Don't Make Me Sing" Lady, who humble brags; Mary Catherine Gallagher, who is awkward, intense, and proud all at the same time; "Just Kidding" Lady, who has a compulsion to say "just kidding" after everything; Kat and Garth, who make up their song together on the spot; and Mindy Grace, who can't help herself from saying the secret word on a game show. Sometimes I'm not sure you get half of what's funny about them, but then I watch you and Eleanora impersonate them, and I'm blown away by how well you pick up on all their different mannerisms. Your study of people is impressive, and your understanding of what makes people and social situations funny is slowly growing.

What hasn't changed is your love of family time. You still love goofing off with Eleanora, and you are often each other's BFFs. You enjoy being around all your family and you think of them often. You especially love spending time with any of your cousins. You had a lot of time with the Abella cousins over Christmas, and you all got along so well and played all day long without really coming up for air. And with your Walters cousins, you fall right into your pattern of going away from the adults (except for performance time, of course) and laughing and creating and coming up with new ideas. You are loyal and solid in your attachment to family.

You also still love nature. Whether it's the beach, a park, our yard, or a forest, you find ways to make art or play structures from natural elements in the environment. There is something about nature that seems to put you at ease and inspire you to create.

Canoeing with the fam for the first time.

One of my regrets about our busy lives right now is that I don't get much time anymore to just snuggle with you. Eleanora makes absolutely sure that it happens with her, but you are not one to make a fuss or demand from others, and I'm afraid I overlook your need for one-on-one affection sometimes because of that. Of course, when I do give you individual attention, Eleanora comes right over and tries to put a stop to it, and that's something I'm working on with her. Sometimes I still go to put you in my lap when I'm hugging you and realize how big you are. It was natural for so long, it's hard to break that habit. You'll still sit sideways on my lap, so you haven't outgrown that all together, but pretty soon you'll be a pre-teen, and to my knowledge, pre-teens are too cool for sitting on their mom's lap. We do give each other great hugs every night, and I try to catch you when I think you're upset, or overwhelmed with emotion, or even just when I'm proud of you and I'll hold you for a couple minutes. Those brief moments "fill my love pockets," as we say in our house; they refuel me and reconnect me to what matters. You are one of the few things that matters the very most to me in the world. I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday, sweet girl!